Note to the esteemed gentlemen on my list: I love that you are here SO MUCH. I welcome you and congratulate you for signing up. And I want to warn you, this post is about periods. =) It doesn’t mean you won’t necessarily find it helpful – particularly if you’re in a relationship with someone who has a period – but this is definitely one that’s skewed toward the ladies. I understand if you stop reading here.
As I write this, it is the official release date of my new book, The 28 Days Lighter Diet.
Can I get a whoop-whoop!?
And I wanted to offer some of the advice from the book that relates to relationships. I mean, a big piece of the book focuses squarely on diet and fitness. It’s tactical, it’s practical, it’s straight-forward, and I love it.
But hey. I’m a life coach. I really groove on the emotional stuff. =) So that’s what I’m going to share with you today.
My daughter Lillian, a kindergartner, is learning about time in school. So there have been lots of questions about it – Are we late? What does the 45 in 11:45 mean? What’s a.m.? What does the big hand point to?
Have you ever sat down and tried to explain an old-fashioned clock to a kid? It’s complicated. The short hand, the minute hand, the second hand. There’s an eight o’clock in the morning and then another eight o’clock in the night. And then sometimes, on government-appointed dates, the time changes an hour.
When you are clear, you know what you want, what’s possible, and what’s just not acceptable any more. When you are clear, you are a magnet for all the things that you want to find you. When you are clear, you naturally repel opportunities and people who are only going to drain you.
I wrote a while ago about how I had recently gotten clear on something that I hadn’t even fully realized was a dilemma: Whether or not I wanted to continue writing as a professional pursuit. I knew something was up, because I felt like I was walking uphill when I focusing only on coaching.
As some of you know, I have a book coming out soon and it’s at long-last time to talk about it. Hooray!
The book is The 28 Days Lighter Diet: Your Monthly Plan to Lose Weight, End PMS, and Achieve Physical and Emotional Wellness.
It’s all about how to sync your diet, fitness, and mind-body pursuits to your cycle, so you can work with your body instead of beating it in to submission.
If you’ve got PMS that just won’t quit, stress levels that never recede, pounds that just won’t budge, or issues with your lady parts, the info in this book is designed to help you find your way to radiant health.
This is a photo of my grandmother, Dorothy Jane, who passed over to the other side last night. She was 93-11/12 (her birthday is tomorrow). I loved her very much even though she often drove me nuts. =) In the end, she went quickly, in her sleep, with her family all around her. It’s a blessing, and quite an emotional roller coaster!
I’ve taken a lot of comfort from this post by someone I respect quite a lot, Danielle Laporte, Remember, you said Yes to this. My Mom and I said yes when we opted to move my grandmother out of Florida (which she loved, but where we couldn’t reach her without a day’s travel and where she was requiring more and more care by people who weren’t family) and up to Rhode Island, so that we could love her up before she moved on. We said yes to having regular lunches with her and taking her to doctor’s appointments. We said yes to creating the opportunity for her to spend regular time with her great grandchildren. And we said yes to being with her as she took her last breaths.
And now, I’m saying yes to sending out a post from the archives this week so I can go have lunch with my mom and uncle and do some laughing through tears as we make arrangements for the next steps.
These suckers (and their many sisters and brothers) took over two months on the vine to ripen. Two months! And then they took another 3 weeks on the windowsill.
A few weeks in, and I was craving some freshly made salsa something fierce. I tried staring at the tomatoes, willing them to turn red before my very eyes. I tried ignoring them, and focusing on the veggies that were ready to go. I admit, I even tried hating those tomatoes at times. =)
Here’s what finally happened: I sauntered down to the farmer’s market and bought some luscious, juicy, heirloom tomatoes and whirred those puppies up into some righteous salsa.
“If you want different results, you’ve got to take different actions.”
So simple. So succinct. If you’ve ever thought you might like to give coaching with me a try but are hesitant for whatever reason, this quote pretty much sums up the experience. It gives you 90% of the information you need to make change! Take it and run with it. =)
Let’s say, for example, you want to eat a healthier diet. You’ve got to buy different stuff at the grocery store and reach for different things when you open the fridge. You’ve got to hear your same ole hunger cues and decide to do something other than your typical response.
If you’ve been with me a while, you know that we have been renovating our house. For over a year now. Here’s an update on that: We are still renovating our house. As of today, the shingles are half-on, the basement is still completely unfinished, we have no coat racks or towel racks or bookcases, or front door, for that matter. We do have plumbing and electrical for a new bathroom, a new water heater, a new whole-house water filtering system, a bunch of new windows, and 7/8 of a new wrap-around porch.
It would be easy for me to stew in frustration about how long it’s taking. In fact, sometimes I do. =) But then I remember how fabulous the house will be, and in not too long. How it’s an honor to restore an old home to its original integrity. And what a privilege it is to craft a house that really reflects who we are and what’s important to us. And then I generally either cook up some project in the yard (this past weekend the kids and I planted bulbs) or go on Pinterest and look up creative storage solutions for the mountains of hats, gloves, scarfs, and jackets that currently have no functional home.
Before the retreat, I prepped everything I wanted to cover, and the theme I chose was “Life is good” – about how what we focus on grows and in any given moment, everything is pretty great, it’s only when we start thinking about the future or the past that we get anxious or start feeling regret.
My mind liked that theme quite a lot – still does – but my gut had other plans.
Everything that came out of my mouth last Friday was about creating space. Space in the body—to breathe, for our organs to stretch out, for our muscles to unkink. Space in our lives—to allow for sitting still, reflecting, NOT doing something every minute of every day, unwinding. And space in our minds – to get some objectivity on the thoughts we think over and over again, to hear what we really think, to try on some new perspectives.
I didn’t think of it in these terms, of course. I just thought, This having-two-young-kids-and-working deal is hard.
I mean, having two young kids and working is definitely challenging. But the fact that my body wasn’t functioning well made it seem a whole heck of a lot harder than it had to be. I was:
- A total stress case – one of the kids would cry and I would sweat blood.
- Picking fights with my husband when something didn’t go exactly the way that I had planned (for instance, nap time).
- Using wine to “take the edge off” each night. As the number of glasses I “needed” crept up toward two, and then three, it started affecting my sleep. Read more…