There was a time in my life when I had backed myself into quite a corner. I had just had my second (and last) baby, and I was miserable. Post-pregnancy hormone swings and sleepless nights aside, I was creating the vast majority of that misery all on my own.
How was I doing this? By writing checks with my heart that my mind couldn’t cash.
For example, I was dying for more sleep, but I was drinking 2-3 glasses of wine each night—which, for me, is a surefire recipe for middle-of-the-night insomnia. I longed for a full three months maternity leave, but I couldn’t say no to freelance writing gigs that landed in my inbox—so I worked and hated every minute of it. I was insistent that my husband share the load of household work and family care, but I wouldn’t allow him to soothe our kids when they got fussy—meaning I put him in a situation he couldn’t possibly succeed in and then picked fights when I perceived him to be slacking.
It was a real low point.
If you ask people what their favorite day of the week is, most will say Friday, Saturday or Sunday, for obvious reasons. While I love a weekend, these days are not my favorite days. That honor is reserved for Tuesday.
Because that’s my writing day. No client calls, no networking lunches. Not even any school pick-ups. The hours from 9-5 are mine, all mine. I even have my office – which I share with a fellow local entrepreneur – all to myself, as my officemate spends Tuesdays in an office in Boston.
Let me tell you, it is heaven.
The thing I’m talking about is missing from so many people’s lives—yes, probably yours too. And it’s a darn shame, too, because this one thing is the equivalent of a huge beam of love from the universe. Worst of all, it’s only missing because we don’t allow ourselves to experience it.
Otherwise known as deep sorrow (according to Merriam-Webster’s), grief is derived from an Old French word that means “to burden.”
We all think of grief as what we feel when someone dies, but it can accompany any loss, including: Read more…
I’ve been working on some goodies for you and I’m so excited to share them with you! All free, all excellent, all straight from the heart of some of my favorite people. But before I share, I just have to tell you about a conversation I had with my #tinyguru, aka my daughter, Lillian.
Last weekend, Lil was invited to a birthday party with a spy theme. It sounded so cool. There was going to be a treasure hunt!
She didn’t want to go, though. My kids LOVE being home on weekend days, staying in their jammies, messing around in the yard, playing with their toys. They are introverts, like their momma. =)
So I reminded her about the treasure hunt.
Let’s pretend you’re cruising along through your life and things are going swell. And then something wacky happens out of the blue. Your boiler implodes. You fall and break your ankle (or your husband does). You get a big tax bill. You get a new boss. Your car breaks down.
That’s all bad stuff, right?
I mean, yes, it would make perfect sense if you triggered when any of these things happened. But here’s the thing:
Life is happening for you, not to you. (Click to Tweet!)
If you can entertain this simple principle—even better if you can accept it, but sometimes you have to start with simply trying it on—then there is no bad luck.
Q: I have a day job as a counselor at a clinic. It’s OK as jobs go—it is a fairly steady income (although if clients don’t show, I don’t get paid) and I do get to share my specialty, which is approaching therapy from a more spiritual, holistic perspective. But I want and need to make more money. Recently, I have had two former clients contact me—out of the blue–and ask if we could work together again, even though I’ve moved a few states away and we’d have to do our sessions over the phone. I said yes because I know these people and I know they’re motivated. But I’m also nervous that if I start supporting more people on the side that I’ll get burned out. I already feel depleted after a day at the clinic. Perhaps a part-time job that I don’t care about would be better, so that I don’t take it home with me at the end of the day?
Today I’m delighted to extend a personal invitation to you to join me and my favorite colleagues, offering our most special and beloved tools, programs, and support to help you to get clear on what you want, need, and how to get it.
The Clear, Calm, and Conscious Gift Giveaway is your very own store for everything you could possibly desire to support you and get you feeling nourished, grounded, and inspired, and the best part is, all of the programs, recordings, e-books and workbooks we’ve collected are yours–no money required!
“When you start to want to live your life fully instead of opting for death, you discover that life itself is inconvenient…you again and again encounter the inconvenience of your own uptightness, your own headaches, your own falling flat on your face. But in wholeheartedly practicing and wholeheartedly following the path, this inconvenience is not an obstacle. It’s simply a certain texture of life, a certain energy of life.
Since you are wholeheartedly committed to the warrior’s journey, [inconvenience] pricks you, it pokes you. It’s like someone laughing in your ear, challenging you to figure out what to do when you don’t know what to do. It humbles you. It opens your heart.” – Pema Chodron, in Comfortable with Uncertainty
Here are a few things that are just so gosh-darned inconvenient: Read more…
Well, technically, I started a grease fire in the oven when I was broiling steaks. I wondered why black smoke was pouring out of the vent, went to open the door of the oven and nearly singed my eyebrows on the fiery dance happening in there. Black soot was covering everything, the house filled up with smoke, the smoke alarm went off, the kids were crying.
Up until that point, I had been trying to see the humor and the good throughout the snowiest February in Rhode Island history, my husband’s surgery to repair his broken ankle, my single motherhood due to his incapacitated state. But this was the proverbial straw. I started to think maybe we needed some other grown up to move in to the house and steer the ship for a while. I felt like I couldn’t trust myself.
I’m so happy to share an update: I am now blogging for Acacia TV. And I just cashed my first check! Can I get a whoop whoop?
Acacia has a beautiful catalog that sells clothes, furnishings, jewelry, garden supplies and gifts, all with an eco-friendly bent. They also produce great fitness DVDs and stream workouts (by the likes of Shiva Rea) online at Acacia TV. I am thrilled to be working with them, because we share a dedication to helping people do the things that matter to them – get fit, get quiet, get right. And they know that true wellness goes way beyond calories in and calories out – they’ve got a whole section of their website dedicated to all things Mind-Body, and that’s where I come in. =) Read more…